Ultra-conservative wing-nuts on the Texas Board of Education have decided to rewrite the nation’s textbooks. I hate to be a doomsayer, but we are so utterly fucked.
These are some of the actual changes to be made to the books:
- Creationism will be included alongside evolution as a legitimate scientific theory. This one alone is enough to make me weep for the future. But wait…there’s more.
- Thomas Jefferson will be a footnote in our history, his punishment for having coined the phrase “separation of church and state”. The man who will take his place? John Calvin. I shit you not.
- All instances of the word “capitalism” will actually be erased because it has “negative connotations” in its place will be the word “free enterprise”. I’m guessing this wasn’t the idea of anybody on the Texas school board; it’s too sophisticated for them. I bet $100 that this was the idea of some douche-bag at the Heritage Foundation or the AEI.
They’ve finally gone and done what I had most feared they would. I always feared that this was our weak spot, that by going in and rewriting the history of the world, we have finally destroyed any chance of getting this nation back on track. Everyone knows you can’t fool an educated populace. So what do these shitbags do? They set out to make ALL of America’s children as ignorant as they are in Texas. I only wonder what force of nature kept them from having done it sooner. Mark my words, people – that Texas vote marks a new low in American history. You probably won’t read about it in the future, so better memorize that shit.
People, if you have kids, now is the time to seriously consider home-schooling. In fact, it would probably be better for our nation if our kids skipped school entirely from now on; they’d be smarter for it.