Coffee for the masses.


Hall of Presidents


presidentialWatch the accompanying video HERE.


If you want to see a guy verbally jerking you off, listen to Chuck Schumer talk about his great new vision for the Democratic party. God, these people are hopeless.


And the DNC has already chosen their standard bearer for 2020. It’s not Bernie or Warren. It’s gonna be Kamala Harris. It makes perfect sense. She looks the part. She’s good branding. She’s also friendly with the machine. Kamala Harris is a corporate machine politician through and through. In San Francisco she allied herself with the Willie Brown/Gavin Newsom/Dianne Feinstein/Nancy Pelosi wing of the Democratic party. They are not true progressives. They wine and dine each other, attend all the same fundraisers, hobknob it up with power and fame; they belong to the same exclusive club – and you are not a part of it.

Bernie Sanders wouldn’t be caught dead at one of their little fundraisers with these fake ass so-called liberals. That’s why true progressives and even some conservatives respect Bernie. Many of us might not be able to articulate why we were so drawn to Bernie, but I do believe that his sincere allegiance to we the people, as opposed to they the affluent, is the reason he’s so loved. But instead of a real progressive, we’re going to get more of this corporate bullshit.

So now they’re grooming Harris to be the president, as if it’s a done deal, as if we’re just supposed to accept her as our standard bearer because they say so. I say we can do better than her. I’m pre-emptively striking against Kamala Harris – if she’s the DNC nominee, fuck it, I’ll vote Green again.

ENOUGH rewarding corporate politicians for pledging allegiance to money and power!

Artificial Intelligence

Ian Malcolm had the last word back in 1993: “we were so preoccupied with whether or not we could that we didn’t stop to think if we SHOULD”.

An issue with technological advancement is that it’s completely divorced from its social responsiblities. That’s why tech exists, isn’t it? To help humanity? So why, then, do people insist on pushing out disruptive technologies before stopping to consider how it will impact our world, and how we can mitigate its effects BEFORE unleashing your tech? Uber and Lyft were pushed out into the world with not a single thought to the destruction of cab drivers’ livelihoods. All this talk about “disruption” gets thrown around callously, completely oblivious to the damage they may be doing.

AI is going to be the mother of disruptive technologies. It can have detrimental effects on the economies of the poor and working class. The wealthy, being the owners of the AI, will in fact be the only ones who benefit – “BIGLY”. Some billionaires, to their credit, have touted the idea of a universal basic income, which would partially solve that problem and does take human cost into consideration. But these things must be hashed out by society before tech decides to push AI onto the world, and not after the fact. We have the hindsight of the industrial revolution and its impact on the people most vulnerable – let’s actually start using it.

Mental Gymnastics

"Mental Gymnastics"

Who deserve the gold medal?
HINT: It rhymes with “rump supporters”.
Check out this week’s video here.

Guardián: Angel. Coming soon…I hope.

This Saturday I’ll be attending the Latino Comics Expo to spread that little teaser around.  It’s official: it’s gonna get done.

Over 10 years ago, I created an Aztec-themed villain in search of a hero.  That hero would use a ring to power up his suit of armor, giving him agility not unlike that of a certain spidery fellow, and he would be the first Mexican superhero ever.  Clearly, I hadn’t done my homework on the Mexican part, but it didn’t matter.  I still wanted to add my guy to the relatively new pantheon of Mexican characters who didn’t wear ponchos or sombreros.

OK, at some point my character does wear a sombrero.  A very big sombrero.  It gets hot in the desert, what can I say?

It’s been a LONG time since high school.  Since then the character that would have been a villain continued to evolve, and soon he turned into a hero in search of a villain.  But the one thing I came to realize was that more than anything, was that my hero needed a purpose.  A drive.  Something for him to fight for.  In short, a story.  I wish I’d learned this stuff sooner, but hey, even Albert Einstein once thought the universe was Euclidean.  And how old was he before he did that thing with the relativity and the E=MC squares and what not?

God, I hope I can finish this book before I’m THAT old.  At any rate, if you’re reading this, you are among the very first to hear news about this project.  I’ve kept it under wraps for over a decade, after several reincarnations and numerous false starts.  Now it’s official – I’m getting it done.  It’s coming soon.  If this all sounds vague, it’s intentional.  This is only a teaser.  Xochitl isn’t even the main character, but she’s certainly the sexiest.  Some of you have even seen the hero on my main page, but rest assured, he has also been a victim of my revisionary nightmare.  Expect a new look for him.

So stay on the look out, follow me on Twitter, Facebook me, and if you’ve got a copy of the stickers I’m handing out, hold on to them.  Collector’s item.

The State of Arizona catches another L.

Time to bash illegal immigrants again – and just in time to distract the teeming masses from the crackdown on Wall Street!  I’m sure that’s just a coincidence, by the way…

But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that lawmakers in this country would literally pass a law so blatantly fascist.  SB1070, the new law signed into law by Governor Jan Brewer, is a 1940s Germany throwback, a law that actually makes it legal for a cop to ask you for papers if you “look” like an illegal immigrant.  Never did I imagine that many people would support such a law.  But in a country whose people approved the use of waterboarding and torture, it really should not have surprised me.  But it did.  Now I know for a fact that despite our Constitution and reputation as a freedom-loving nation, as long as we have half a population that can find the gall to defend the indefensible, then it is entirely possible for us to fall into the grips of blank-faced fascism – if we haven’t already.  I thought it was that people were just ignorant and misinformed.  But perhaps once something like this happens, they simply accept it and find a way to live with it, make excuses for it, or defend it entirely.  If you’re a conservative in America (my apologies to William Buckley, who would have been appalled by such a vicious law), you and your kind defend this law, despite the fact that it clearly violates the 14th amendment of the Constitution.  After all, you defended the Patriot Act.

Why is it always the same old Gran Torino ass lames that constantly ride our nuts?  They love to talk about how illegal immigrants are “breaking our laws”.  Notice the lack of a MORAL argument. That’s because there is no morality in deporting hard workers whose only crime it was to ignore some stupid rules so that they could FEED their fucking families. The laws being broken here amount to JAYWALKING when compared to the laws being broken by Wall Street – where’s your righteous anger now, dipshits?  All this talk about “breaking our laws” is little more than a euphemistic veil to hide their racism.

Need more proof?  Rachel Maddow unveils the roots of this immigration law.

Yeah…no racism there.  And Tea-Baggers aren’t racist either.  Right.

I mentioned somewhere in the title of this post that Arizona caught an “L”.  In modern lingo, that means they’ve earned “Loser” status.   If Governor Jan Brewer does not repeal this law, they can expect to catch more losses than they bargained for.  I support a full scale boycott on goods made in Arizona until this law is overturned.  Let’s boycott the shit out of them.

Here’s a partial list of companies that reside in Arizona:

2011 Major League Baseball All-Star Game, Location: Chase Field, Phoenix, AZ

Apollo Group (University of Phoenix), Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona

Arizona Diamondbacks, Location: Phoenix, Arizona

Best Western International, Inc., Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona

Cold Stone Creamery, Headquarters: Scottsdale, Arizona

CSK Auto (Checker Auto Parts, Schucks Auto Supply, Kragen Auto Parts, Murray’s Discount Auto Stores), Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona

Dial Corporation, Headquarters: Scottsdale, Arizona

Discount Tire Company (America’s Tire Company), Headquarters: Scottsdale, Arizona

Fender Musical Instruments Corporation, Headquarters: Scottsdale, Arizona

Go Daddy, Headquarters: Scottsdale, Arizona

Grand Canyon

Mesa Air Group (Mesa Airlines, Go!, Freedom Airlines), Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona

P. F. Chang’s China Bistro, Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona

PetSmart, Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona

Sky Mall, Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona

Taser International, Headquarters: Scottsdale, Arizona

U-Haul, Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona

US Airways, Headquarters: Tempe, Arizona

“Health” “Care” “Reform”

When that corporate shill Joe Lieberman had the public option gutted from the health reform, this bill went down in flames.  Now the only thing it does is guarantee new customers for the health insurance industry.  Now, if you don’t purchase insurance from Blue Cross or Aetna, you commit a crime.  Now, there is no reason to support this bill, and every reason to oppose it.

Well, you can start slapping the cuffs on me now if that bill passes.   I draw the line here.  Fuck Aetna, fuck Joe Lieberman, fuck Max Baucus, and fuck everybody from the political whores in Washington to the free-market ideologues, down to the brainwashed birthers/deathers/sister-fucking sheep in middle America who worked so hard to destroy health care reform.  Fuck you all.

Bow-Gate: Faux News Reaches for The Stars


Bow-gate?  Really?


This is what one of my homies calls “reaching”.  This is what happens when you run out of things to say about a man, so you gotta reeeeeeeeach a little further and grab any any irrelevant shit that you can find.  What’s funny is that I’m sure there’s lots of other shit Fox can do to ruin Barack Obama’s credibility, and they wouldn’t even have to dig that deep.  Come on you lazy fucks, you’ve done better than this.

It’s almost as if they know they can count on their usual gang of bumpkin fucktards to get all hot and bothered over this non-issue, something to rally around  after the whole “Obama is Hitler” thing got old.  After all, there’s enough of them around to make Sarah Palin rich and famous.  If any of you happen to be reading this (as if you read), I seriously despise you.  I despise you, and your philosophy of arrogant exceptionalism.  Get the fuck over yourselves you mindless idiots.

Alan Grayson: My New BFF

My man. He said something that I’ve been dying to hear from a Democrat since…forever.

And what’s more – he did not back away.

He’s talking about the truth.  He said “truth is an absolute defense”.

Thank God for Alan Grayson, for he is my voice in Congress.  He may represent Florida, but that’s the guy who speaks for me as an American.

America’s Last Liberal Lion.

Your service to America will never be forgotten.  To you and your family, we owe a great debt.

Spot the Fictional Talking Head.

Can you spot the fictional character?

*Answer: Trick question.  They’re all fictional.

Rebrand your Sins Away

Wouldn’t it be great if we could all hire a personal image consultant?  What if we could all have our own personal logo designer, and the entire world could identify each and every one of us by looking at our logos?   In a world where logos become our face the need for getting to know people better doesn’t disappear; in fact, it becomes more vital than ever.  It’s happening again, corporations using their deep pockets to rebrand themselves in order to boost a shattered image – as opposed to fixing what it was that made you unpopular in the first place.

Take Walmart.  Please.

Notice how BIG AND BLOCKY the old logo looks.  It’s a dark, unfriendly shade of blue.

This is their new logo.   See?  The lighter shade of blue means they really are friendly folk, so totally not like a group of greedy corporate bastards who exploit sweat shop labor and treat their workers like mindless drones.  These are happy people.  Happy!  Happy, like that yellow sunburst over to the right.  Not poor, sad, and depressed.  Happy.  Not a bad logo, actually.  I wonder if the designer was paid a decent wage for it.

Then there’s Blackwater, the brutal mercenary-for-hire firm replacing a large chunk of the US’s security.  You know, a job usually reserved for soldiers, the secret service, etc.  Well, they now operate as “Xe”.  The fuck does that mean?  Who knows.  What really matters is that it isn’t spelled and pronounced like BLACKWATER. “Xe” certainly sounds and looks less ominous than BLACKWATER. Just look at the bold font used, the imagery of a bear paw in the sights of a sniper, which would seem to spell certain death to bears.  Oh shit, BLACKWATER is run by Stephen Colbert!

Apparently that name BLACKWATER is so tainted by associations with its many scandals in Iraq that they felt a monosyllabic name like “Xe” would sound friendlier.  Or maybe, it would be so short, so barely there, that the public at large would forget they exist.  They hope that by making “BLACKWATER” disappear, “Xe” can continue to operate, funded by our own government tax dollars, with relative impunity. Kinda like what Phillip Morris did years ago when it was renamed Altria because Phillip Morris is now so synonymous with tobacco and cigarettes that it became bad for their public image.  What it comes down to is that Phillip Morris and BLACKWATER decided that the best course of action as corporate citizens was to simply show the world a new face.  Rather than straighten up, right their wrongs, see the error of their ways, they decided to go with a facelift and hope nobody would notice they’re still ugly on the inside.

Ditto for the Republican Party attempt to rebrand themselves recently.  Rebranding, as opposed to taking a long look in the mirror and reflecting.  Maybe even, dare I say, giving a shit about the people they’re supposed to represent?

This just says it all.

Enough plastic surgery.  Let’s get real.

I WISH this were a joke.


“I’ve been in the entertainment industry since I was six-years-old… As Charles Dickens says, ‘It’s been the best of times, the worst of times.’ But I would not change my career… While some have made deliberate attempts to hurt me, I take it in stride because I have a loving family, a strong faith and wonderful friends and fans who have, and continue, to support me”.

Michael Jackson,0,2152435.story

Pop star Michael Jackson was pronounced dead today after paramedics found him in a coma at his Bel-Air mansion, city and law enforcement sources told The Times.

Los Angeles Fire Department Capt. Steve Ruda told The Times that paramedics responded to a 911 call from the home. When they arrived, Jackson was not breathing. The paramedics performed CPR and took him to UCLA Medical Center, Ruda said

Hundreds of reporters gathered at the hospital awaiting word on his condition. The sources, who spoke on the condition that they not be named, said family members rushed to Jackson’s bedside, where he was in a deep coma…

…Jackson has three children — sons Prince Michael 7, and Michael Joseph Jackson Jr., 12, and daughter Paris Michael Katherine, 11.

The news comes as Jackson, 50, was attempting a comeback after years of tabloid headlines, most notably his trial and acquittal on child molestation charges.

The death of the King of Pop is yet another reminder of just how fleeting life really is. He was in his 20s when I was born; Michael Jackson had been one of many constants in my life.  By that I mean he’d always been a fixture in my world, one that has just “always been there”, like the moon.  As time passes by, these constants are beginning to disappear, one by one; I know that the most painful departures in my life are yet to come.

The news of his death itself was conflicting. Jesus. So many conflicting emotions about a man I don’t know. On one hand, he was the greatest entertainer this world had ever seen. On the other hand, he was probably a child molester. The man was weird, eccentric, Peter-Panish. But he was the fucking King of Pop. I was just talking about him last night, too. My uncle and I agreed – nobody could touch his skills as a dancer. The man was untouchable. He was the Moonwalker.

He was the Thriller.

He was denied his childhood, then spent most of his adult life trying to make up for it. Let’s face it – EVERYBODY talked about him, myself included.  He had his issues and only God knows the truth.  Now all that’s left to say is that his is a fascinating, complex, and tragic story. If there’s a better place after death, then he’s finally found some hard earned rest.  Long live King Michael.

Laughing My Ass Off at Logitech

Ladies and gentlemen, the Logitech MX Revolution.

Isn’t that just about the SEXIEST thing you’ve ever seen? It’s so sexy it made Hugh Hefner put a ring on it. And it FEELS amazing. Ergonomic design, optical laser tech, customizable buttons, a “game mode”, and even a search function. Retailing for around $100, you’d think it come with better instructions on what to do IN CASE IT STOPS WORKING.

If you think you should turn to Logitech, don’t bother. Logitech products look great, but don’t count on their service to be of much help – particularly with this mouse. With this mouse, if your battery suddenly refuses to work you have one option – buy a new one. That’s it. You can’t even replace the battery. Once it fails, you’re out $100 and you basically have to cough up $100 new dollars for a mouse that’s only problem is a faulty battery. You are screwed. Not quite ready to lube up the old cornhole just yet, I decided to consult a higher intelligence – the internet. I somehow stumbled upon this blog dealing with the same issue I was having with my mouse – namely, that the charging cradle kept giving me a flashing red light, meaning the battery wasn’t charging.

After reading the main article I scroll down to see what readers had to say, and the responses I was reading seemed to suggest that the number one solution to this problem was to – I shit you not, people – slam it.

“…Good to know I am not the only one having problems with this awesome device… Mine has seemed to gradually lose its ability to charge over the past 3 months. My first concern was the contacts, i clean them, safely, all the time just to be sure, but that’s not what it is for mine. Once I determined it wasn’t the contacts, and could find nothing else, I simply slammed the mouse (bottom side down) on my desk, and WOW does it work like brand new again. I DO NOT ADVISE ANYONE “SLAMMING” theirs down, but it worked for me. (Symptoms: not charging, blinking red battery light, random green lights.) Works great now.”

“…Slammed my mouse in to the desk as Chris did, and it has worked fine after that, guess it’s the way to solve the problem”

“…That’s probably the wierdest advice i’ve ever taken, but slamming my mouse buttonside down into my table has it working like brand new! Thanks!”

“..I slammed the mouse and… it worked! Seriously after reading these comments I was like there is no way I’m slamming the mouse, but after dealing with their customer service dept., what was the worst thing that could happen? Couldn’t really get more broken. Chalk up another unbiased vote for slamming.”

“..the mouse slam thing worked for me too. Same symptoms – blinking red light.  That’s hilarious.”

And there’s more.  Much more.  So I figured what the hell. I slammed the shit out of it. Didn’t work out so well for the last mouse I owned…but I’ll be damned if this motherfucker ain’t working like a charm now! That’s right, this $100 technological marvel requires only that you slam it against a hard, flat surface for it to function correctly.  All these years I’ve been told not to slam malfunctioning hardware and now Logitech has finally invented a device whose repair manual can be summed up in a sentence: slam the shit out of it.  Pure genius level shit right there.

Video Games as Art?

Can gaming be art?

First let’s get this point out of the way – video game makers are corporate entities.  Corporations have created the video game as a product to be consumed and sold to a mass audience.  The ultimate intent is to sell more copies.  That’s a big strike but even that’s not the biggie here; by that standard alone Schindler’s List would fail to qualify as art.  The real biggie is the fact that Schindler’s List was the brainchild of Steven Spielberg, a human being who molded his vision into art more as a labor of love and less as a commercial endeavor.  Of course the studios wanted to make money from it, but Spielberg wanted to tell a great story.   Video games, on the other hand, are seldom created with the aim of telling a great story – and no video game ever made can match the emotional power of Schindler’s List.  There may be a guy who earnestly tries to write great stories for video games, but after the script leaves his hands it falls to the technical department to craft it, and they don’t usually have the writer’s artistic ambitions in mind.    I think it’s useless to bother with creating great stories for video games; you really only want to play the damn thing.  Any story you write is in service to the gameplay, instead of the other way around.  I think that qualifies as a strike against it being art.  A big one.  Art is a human endeavor, not a corporate good to be consumed; the intent matters.

Let’s examine the idea of non-linear storytelling.  According to film critic Roger Ebert, non-linear storytelling can never be art because every alternate experience diminishes the emotional impact of the other; it no longer matters that Romeo and Juliet die at the end of the story because you can simply go back to a save point and make a different choice; perhaps they live, or maybe Juliet cheats on Romeo with Mercutio. You could develop multiple routes and endings, but each ending would be utterly meaningless; just another throwaway ending, another “unlockable”.  There is no coming back from death in Romeo and Juliet; that’s why their deaths matter. In linear storytelling, the ending is more valuable because you only get ONE.

The irony is that in each game there exists an official canon, rendering the point of non-linear storytelling moot.  Ryu is the hero in Street Fighter, and so only his “ending” counts.  Guile can’t get vengeance on Bison if Ryu gets to him first.  If we choose Bison to beat the game he rules the world – but by the next sequel he’s right back to being a would-be dictator.  Ultimately the choice of where the story goes resides with the video game maker; we don’t really have a choice. It defeats the purpose of non-linear storytelling. If Capcom wants an “official canon” for Street Fighter, you can’t choose between many characters; you can only choose Ryu – and you can only win. That’s right – if Capcom is writing a story where Ryu wins in the end, the interactivity only goes as far as you getting to control how Ryu wins.  You lose, he still wins, because by the time the next incarnation of Street Fighter rolls around he’s still the champion.  The offician canon is as close to a “story” as you’re going to get with video games; too bad canon isn’t the same thing as the video game itself.   Of course, you can try turning the canon into a book, or a film.  That’s very possible.   Yet the reason that films based on video games suck so poorly is that their stories are adapted from a medium that uses story as filler; story is not the point.  Try doing something more sophisticated with Super Mario Bros. than a Saturday morning cartoon.  A really bad cartoon.

The only way video games could be art would be in pushing the most literally artistic aspects of it; the visuals.   It’s such a subjective thing to talk about the aesthetic qualities of a video game vs. those of the Mona Lisa.  The video game, I would argue, is at a disadvantage because even the PS3’s graphics can’t look as rich and detailed as the Mona Lisa.  But that’s just one way of talking about artistry; what video game carries the symbolic weight of a Frida Kahlo?  The abstract exploration of a Willem De Kooning?   Honestly, how many of them even care about going beyond representational art?  When gamers talk about the art in a video game, they’re talking about how “real” the graphics look – and that’s about it.

Skill, not storytelling, is the critical component of a game; the most skilled player wins.  Ebert is also right, then, in saying that video games have more in common with sports than they do with art.  Skill is the heart of all video games, from Pong to Street Fighter.  Gaming by definition is not art.  It’s sport.  A mental sport, obviously.  A game, if you will.  In the end we’re talking about games.  We don’t consider playing chess an art; why Mortal Kombat?  Why Myst?  Or Shadow of the Colossus?  I came across IGN’s review of Shadow of the Colossus on Youtube recently, and the guy was all but blowing his load over this game.  The game is fun to play and look at, I’ll give him that.  But he was so THRILLED by the game!  He labeled it a work of art with the kind of glowing enthusiasm reserved for a Palme D’Or winner at the Cannes Film Festival.   Art is so subjective, but let’s not get carried away.  Has this guys ever seen Pan’s Labyrinth?

INTP to a T

(I actually took the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator test at school and this was the result. I went to so some research, and I have to agree with the test’s assessment. I think people who really know me will agree, too.  And those that don’t, this may help explain why, and in any case, now you know…)

The following is taken from

The Thinker

As an INTP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things rationally and logically. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INTPs live in the world of theoretical possibilities. They see everything in terms of how it could be improved, or what it could be turned into. They live primarily inside their own minds, having the ability to analyze difficult problems, identify patterns, and come up with logical explanations.

They seek clarity in everything, and are therefore driven to build knowledge. They are the “absent-minded professors”, who highly value intelligence and the ability to apply logic to theories to find solutions. They typically are so strongly driven to turn problems into logical explanations, that they live much of their lives within their own heads, and may not place as much importance or value on the external world. Their natural drive to turn theories into concrete understanding may turn into a feeling of personal responsibility to solve theoretical problems, and help society move towards a higher understanding.

INTPs value knowledge above all else. Their minds are constantly working to generate new theories, or to prove or disprove existing theories. They approach problems and theories with enthusiasm and skepticism, ignoring
existing rules and opinions and defining their own approach to the resolution. They seek patterns and logical explanations for anything that interests them. They’re usually extremely bright, and able to be objectively critical in their analysis.  They love new ideas, and become very excited over abstractions and theories. They love to discuss these concepts with others. They may seem “dreamy” and distant to others, because they spend a lot of time inside their minds musing over theories. They hate to work on routine things – they would much prefer to build complex theoretical solutions, and leave the implementation of the system to others. They are intensely interested in theory, and will put forth tremendous amounts of time and energy into finding a solution to a problem with has piqued their interest.

INTPs do not like to lead or control people. They’re very tolerant and flexible in most situations, unless one of their firmly held beliefs has been violated or challenged, in which case they may take a very rigid stance.  The INTP is likely to be very shy when it comes to meeting new people. On the other hand, the INTP is very self-confident and gregarious around people they know well, or when discussing theories which they fully understand.

The INTP has no understanding or value for decisions made on the basis of personal subjectivity or feelings. They strive constantly to achieve logical conclusions to problems, and don’t understand the importance or relevance of applying subjective emotional considerations to decisions. For this reason, INTPs are usually not in-tune with how people are feeling, and are not naturally well-equiped to meet the emotional needs of others.

The INTP may have a problem with self-aggrandizement and social rebellion, which will interfere with their creative potential. Since their Feeling side is their least developed trait, the INTP may have difficulty giving the warmth and support that is sometimes necessary in intimate relationships. If the INTP doesn’t realize the value of attending to other people’s feelings, he or she may become overly critical and sarcastic with others. If the INTP is not able to find a place for themself which supports the use of their strongest abilities, they may become generally negative and cynical. If the INTP has not developed their Sensing side sufficiently, they may become unaware of their environment, and exhibit weakness in performing maintenance-type tasks, such as bill-paying and dressing appropriately.

For the INTP, it is extremely important that ideas and facts are expressed correctly and succinctly. They are likely to express themselves in what they believe to be absolute truths.  Sometimes, their well thought-out understanding of an idea is not easily understandable by others, but the INTP is not naturally likely to tailor the truth so as to explain
it in an understandable way to others.  The INTP may be prone to abandoning a project once they have figured it out,
moving on to the next thing.  It’s important that the INTP place importance on expressing their developed theories in understandable ways.  In the end, an amazing discovery means nothing if you are the only person who understands it.

The INTP is usually very independent, unconventional, and original. They are not likely to place much value on traditional goals such as popularity and security. They usually have complex characters, and may tend to be restless and temperamental. They are strongly ingenious, and have unconventional thought patterns which allows them to analyze ideas in new ways. Consequently, a lot of scientific breakthroughs in the world have been made by the INTP.

The INTP is at his best when he can work on his theories independently.  When given an environment which supports his creative genius and possible eccentricity, the INTP can accomplish truly remarkable things.  These are the pioneers of new thoughts in our society.

Jungian functional preference ordering:

Dominant: Introverted Thinking

Auxiliary: Extraverted Intuition

Tertiary: Introverted Sensing

Inferior: Extraverted Feeling


INTP types are quiet, thoughtful, analytical individuals who don’t mind spending long periods of time on their own, working through problems and forming solutions. They are very curious about systems and how things work, and are frequently found in careers such as science, architecture and law.  INTPs tend to be less at ease in social situations and the “caring professions,” although they enjoy the company of those who share their interests. They also tend to be impatient with the bureaucracy, rigid hierarchies, and politics prevalent in many professions, preferring to work informally with others as equals.

INTPs organize their understanding of any topic by articulating principles, and they are especially drawn to theoretical constructs. Having articulated these principles for themselves, they can demonstrate remarkable skill in explaining complex ideas to others in simple terms, especially in writing. On the other hand, their ability to grasp complexity may also lead them to provide overly detailed explanations of “simple” ideas, and listeners may judge that the INTP makes things more difficult than they are. This to the INTP, however, is incomprehensible: They are merely presenting all of the information.

INTPs’ extraverted intuition often gives them a quick wit, especially with language, and they can defuse the tension in gatherings by comical observations and references. They can be charming, even in their quiet reserve, and are sometimes surprised by the high esteem in which their friends and colleagues hold them.

When INTPs feel insulted, however, they may respond with sudden and crushing criticism. After such an incident, INTPs are likely to be as bewildered as the recipient. They have broken the rules of debate and exposed their raw emotions. This to an INTP is the crux of the problem: their emotions are to be dealt with in a logical manner. If improperly handled, they can only harm.

All my life I felt there was something…off about me.  As a kid I could never really identify with other kids my age.  Lord, how I tried.  I never understood their obsession with popularity; I only understood that I was supposed to somehow be it.   Having brand name shoes meant something to all the kids in elementary school, but I didn’t get why.  (I got along great with my teachers though; maybe that’s why I hold teachers with such high regard.)  I participated in sports at first because my parents made me and later because I felt it was required of me.  Later on in my life dating conventions would mystify me; the women I encountered were either equally puzzled, repelled, or drawn to the almost detached way I interacted with them. Most of the time they were repelled.

The entire time, however, I was always observing, taking mental notes, keeping what was useful and throwing away anything that didn’t serve my purpose.  I would (and still do) talk to myself on occasion to work out the theories in my head, always trying to fit everything into a larger puzzle.   Every interaction a little social experiment, every conversation a testing ground for my own ideas and for character probing.  This had been going on since my childhood and it hasn’t stopped.

But now after learning about my test and seeing just how much I fit the type, I’ve learned to approach my mind as a gift, not a cumbersome personality trait.  Like the comic book superheroes I read about occasionally as a kid and grew to appreciate more the older I got, I saw myself as a mutant, not quite a part of humanity and doubting in my ability to succeed in the world; in fact one of my biggest fears still is that I’ll somehow end up homeless and talking to the walls.   I’ve come to see my quirks as special “mutant abilities” that give me an edge over 99% of the populace (approximately 1% of Americans are INTPs).  One of the ways that the MBTI helps people is to help you realize your deficiencies and what you can do to “center” yourself; in my case, that would require I take up sky-diving, learn to dance, mingle, start listening to shitty reggaeton music, and take an interest in sports.  Bleh.  To do so, at least in my mind, would be to negate these powers I’ve been given; why be ordinary?

And yet, why leave oneself exposed by his own weaknesses?  Perhaps the easy way out is truly ordinary.  Everybody does it.  It’s all too comfortable for me to just slip into my role.  It’s the easy thing to do.  Life is like that, isn’t it?  Crime pays; it’s easier to steal than to earn; that glazed Krispy Kreme donut is sugared crack; vegetables suck; vengeance feels better than mercy.  The easy, the delicious, the gratifying…it’s all bad for you.  In contrast, my dad always said that it’s the hard things in life that are really worth doing.  The bible teaches that the road to heaven is narrow.  Vegetables are good for you, but hard to eat.  Waking up early takes discipline.  Growing up, expanding your horizons, eating right, getting organized, disciplined, becoming a centered human being…is all HARD.

It’s settled.  Tomorrow, I’ll listen to a Chingy album or some shit.   A song.

What?  Nobody listens to Chingy anymore?  This shit is going to be harder than I thought…

Getting back in the ring…

As a few of you know, about a year ago I ran to catch a train and my foot finally decided to betray me – it bent my ankle at a 90 degree angle. I’d either torn a ligament or broken it; it’s impossible to know because SF General Hospital really didn’t give a shit enough to make a proper diagnosis. Apparently they couldn’t tell by the x-rays and all I got was a foot wrap and some crutches. A year later, I still get sharp pains in my ankle every now and then and there’s no way of knowing when it’ll decide to act up. Even before the accident, however, I’d been retired from backyard wrestling for a while, but that injury put any hope of getting back in the ring out of my mind for good.

But some things you just can’t leave behind. A few weeks ago when Ray, Anthony and I finally rebuilt the wrestling ring, I began to catch the bug again. Just yesterday they were over at my house talking over some projects we’re lining up and they managed to convince me to get back in the game; apparently they weren’t taking no for an answer. Now I’ve got 3 months to get into the best shape of my life and dust the wrestling cobwebs off. Time to stock up on the Vicodin.

Yep, the Golem is back in the ring, and he’s even got a new entrance theme – it’s the song currently playing on my profile. I’ll miss my old entrance theme though; it’s hard to beat Led Zepellin’s “Kashmir”. On the other hand, “Imma Beast” has a nice ring to it.


NEW THEME: Imma Beast

Gee, he was just here a minute ago…

Whenever asked who my favorite comedian was, slots 2-5 would change intermittently depending on my mood at the time (Paul Mooney, Chris Rock, Bill Maher, George Lopez, etc.) but the 1 spot had always belonged to my nigga George Carlin. Like most people my age, I discovered him late in his career – when he bust out with some of his best work. I remember the George Carlin show back in the 90’s being the first time I watched him on TV. I must have been 10. I missed the first appearance of the 7 Words You Can Never Say on TV (Shit, Piss, Fuck, Cunt, Cocksucker, Motherfucker, Tits) but thanks to HBO, I got up to speed and now use them on a regular basis. He created that routine, among many, many others, to poke fun at America’s prudishness and tackle the scourge of political correctness. He inspired me to see past all our little euphemisms and to avoid bullshitting others, to tell it like it is. He taught us the importance of words; he could disect the little things we say and do that we take for granted, and point out just how ridiculous – or amazing – they really are. He was known for being a crotchedy old nihilistic misanthrope at times, but it was all love. In reality, he despised humanity’s “bullshit”, which included murder, genocide, war, rape, corruption, religion and other aspects of human civilization. George Carlin’s battle against our own bullshit is a mission he fought with humor; now he’s left it up to the rest of us to accomplish that mission

Good bye George. You’ll be sorely missed.