Over 10 years ago, I created an Aztec-themed villain in search of a hero. That hero would use a ring to power up his suit of armor, giving him agility not unlike that of a certain spidery fellow, and he would be the first Mexican superhero ever. Clearly, I hadn’t done my homework on the Mexican part, but it didn’t matter. I still wanted to add my guy to the relatively new pantheon of Mexican characters who didn’t wear ponchos or sombreros.
OK, at some point my character does wear a sombrero. A very big sombrero. It gets hot in the desert, what can I say?
It’s been a LONG time since high school. Since then the character that would have been a villain continued to evolve, and soon he turned into a hero in search of a villain. But the one thing I came to realize was that more than anything, was that my hero needed a purpose. A drive. Something for him to fight for. In short, a story. I wish I’d learned this stuff sooner, but hey, even Albert Einstein once thought the universe was Euclidean. And how old was he before he did that thing with the relativity and the E=MC squares and what not?
God, I hope I can finish this book before I’m THAT old. At any rate, if you’re reading this, you are among the very first to hear news about this project. I’ve kept it under wraps for over a decade, after several reincarnations and numerous false starts. Now it’s official – I’m getting it done. It’s coming soon. If this all sounds vague, it’s intentional. This is only a teaser. Xochitl isn’t even the main character, but she’s certainly the sexiest. Some of you have even seen the hero on my main page, but rest assured, he has also been a victim of my revisionary nightmare. Expect a new look for him.
So stay on the look out, follow me on Twitter, Facebook me, and if you’ve got a copy of the stickers I’m handing out, hold on to them. Collector’s item.
Time to bash illegal immigrants again – and just in time to distract the teeming masses from the crackdown on Wall Street! I’m sure that’s just a coincidence, by the way…
But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that lawmakers in this country would literally pass a law so blatantly fascist. SB1070, the new law signed into law by Governor Jan Brewer, is a 1940s Germany throwback, a law that actually makes it legal for a cop to ask you for papers if you “look” like an illegal immigrant. Never did I imagine that many people would support such a law. But in a country whose people approved the use of waterboarding and torture, it really should not have surprised me. But it did. Now I know for a fact that despite our Constitution and reputation as a freedom-loving nation, as long as we have half a population that can find the gall to defend the indefensible, then it is entirely possible for us to fall into the grips of blank-faced fascism – if we haven’t already. I thought it was that people were just ignorant and misinformed. But perhaps once something like this happens, they simply accept it and find a way to live with it, make excuses for it, or defend it entirely. If you’re a conservative in America (my apologies to William Buckley, who would have been appalled by such a vicious law), you and your kind defend this law, despite the fact that it clearly violates the 14th amendment of the Constitution. After all, you defended the Patriot Act.
Why is it always the same old Gran Torino ass lames that constantly ride our nuts? They love to talk about how illegal immigrants are “breaking our laws”. Notice the lack of a MORAL argument. That’s because there is no morality in deporting hard workers whose only crime it was to ignore some stupid rules so that they could FEED their fucking families. The laws being broken here amount to JAYWALKING when compared to the laws being broken by Wall Street – where’s your righteous anger now, dipshits? All this talk about “breaking our laws” is little more than a euphemistic veil to hide their racism.
Need more proof? Rachel Maddow unveils the roots of this immigration law.
Yeah…no racism there. And Tea-Baggers aren’t racist either. Right.
I mentioned somewhere in the title of this post that Arizona caught an “L”. In modern lingo, that means they’ve earned “Loser” status. If Governor Jan Brewer does not repeal this law, they can expect to catch more losses than they bargained for. I support a full scale boycott on goods made in Arizona until this law is overturned. Let’s boycott the shit out of them.
Here’s a partial list of companies that reside in Arizona:
2011 Major League Baseball All-Star Game, Location: Chase Field, Phoenix, AZ
Arizona Diamondbacks, Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Best Western International, Inc., Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona
Cold Stone Creamery, Headquarters: Scottsdale, Arizona
CSK Auto (Checker Auto Parts, Schucks Auto Supply, Kragen Auto Parts, Murray’s Discount Auto Stores), Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona
Dial Corporation, Headquarters: Scottsdale, Arizona
Discount Tire Company (America’s Tire Company), Headquarters: Scottsdale, Arizona
Fender Musical Instruments Corporation, Headquarters: Scottsdale, Arizona
Go Daddy, Headquarters: Scottsdale, Arizona
P. F. Chang’s China Bistro, Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona
PetSmart, Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona
Sky Mall, Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona
Taser International, Headquarters: Scottsdale, Arizona
U-Haul, Headquarters: Phoenix, Arizona
US Airways, Headquarters: Tempe, Arizona
When that corporate shill Joe Lieberman had the public option gutted from the health reform, this bill went down in flames. Now the only thing it does is guarantee new customers for the health insurance industry. Now, if you don’t purchase insurance from Blue Cross or Aetna, you commit a crime. Now, there is no reason to support this bill, and every reason to oppose it.
Well, you can start slapping the cuffs on me now if that bill passes. I draw the line here. Fuck Aetna, fuck Joe Lieberman, fuck Max Baucus, and fuck everybody from the political whores in Washington to the free-market ideologues, down to the brainwashed birthers/deathers/sister-fucking sheep in middle America who worked so hard to destroy health care reform. Fuck you all.
THE INTERNET IS “ABUZZ” BECAUSE OF YOU, DIPSHIT!
WHO GIVES A FUCK!
This is what one of my homies calls “reaching”. This is what happens when you run out of things to say about a man, so you gotta reeeeeeeeach a little further and grab any any irrelevant shit that you can find. What’s funny is that I’m sure there’s lots of other shit Fox can do to ruin Barack Obama’s credibility, and they wouldn’t even have to dig that deep. Come on you lazy fucks, you’ve done better than this.
It’s almost as if they know they can count on their usual gang of bumpkin fucktards to get all hot and bothered over this non-issue, something to rally around after the whole “Obama is Hitler” thing got old. After all, there’s enough of them around to make Sarah Palin rich and famous. If any of you happen to be reading this (as if you read), I seriously despise you. I despise you, and your philosophy of arrogant exceptionalism. Get the fuck over yourselves you mindless idiots.
My man. He said something that I’ve been dying to hear from a Democrat since…forever.
And what’s more – he did not back away.
He’s talking about the truth. He said “truth is an absolute defense”.
Thank God for Alan Grayson, for he is my voice in Congress. He may represent Florida, but that’s the guy who speaks for me as an American.
Your service to America will never be forgotten. To you and your family, we owe a great debt.
Can you spot the fictional character?
*Answer: Trick question. They’re all fictional.