Coffee for the masses.

Rebrand your Sins Away

Wouldn’t it be great if we could all hire a personal image consultant?  What if we could all have our own personal logo designer, and the entire world could identify each and every one of us by looking at our logos?   In a world where logos become our face the need for getting to know people better doesn’t disappear; in fact, it becomes more vital than ever.  It’s happening again, corporations using their deep pockets to rebrand themselves in order to boost a shattered image – as opposed to fixing what it was that made you unpopular in the first place.

Take Walmart.  Please.

Notice how BIG AND BLOCKY the old logo looks.  It’s a dark, unfriendly shade of blue.

This is their new logo.   See?  The lighter shade of blue means they really are friendly folk, so totally not like a group of greedy corporate bastards who exploit sweat shop labor and treat their workers like mindless drones.  These are happy people.  Happy!  Happy, like that yellow sunburst over to the right.  Not poor, sad, and depressed.  Happy.  Not a bad logo, actually.  I wonder if the designer was paid a decent wage for it.

Then there’s Blackwater, the brutal mercenary-for-hire firm replacing a large chunk of the US’s security.  You know, a job usually reserved for soldiers, the secret service, etc.  Well, they now operate as “Xe”.  The fuck does that mean?  Who knows.  What really matters is that it isn’t spelled and pronounced like BLACKWATER. “Xe” certainly sounds and looks less ominous than BLACKWATER. Just look at the bold font used, the imagery of a bear paw in the sights of a sniper, which would seem to spell certain death to bears.  Oh shit, BLACKWATER is run by Stephen Colbert!

Apparently that name BLACKWATER is so tainted by associations with its many scandals in Iraq that they felt a monosyllabic name like “Xe” would sound friendlier.  Or maybe, it would be so short, so barely there, that the public at large would forget they exist.  They hope that by making “BLACKWATER” disappear, “Xe” can continue to operate, funded by our own government tax dollars, with relative impunity. Kinda like what Phillip Morris did years ago when it was renamed Altria because Phillip Morris is now so synonymous with tobacco and cigarettes that it became bad for their public image.  What it comes down to is that Phillip Morris and BLACKWATER decided that the best course of action as corporate citizens was to simply show the world a new face.  Rather than straighten up, right their wrongs, see the error of their ways, they decided to go with a facelift and hope nobody would notice they’re still ugly on the inside.

Ditto for the Republican Party attempt to rebrand themselves recently.  Rebranding, as opposed to taking a long look in the mirror and reflecting.  Maybe even, dare I say, giving a shit about the people they’re supposed to represent?

This just says it all.

Enough plastic surgery.  Let’s get real.


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