Sure, it’s wrong to pick on the mentally insane…
But I’m sure you can make an exception for Glenn Beck.
Now for what I think of Glenn Beck: he is a man who embodies the time-honored philosophy of dualism, in that he is both a douche and a blubbering old vagina. Seeing as he’s a vaj and all you’d think he’d use his douche powers to rinse out the reeking void that is his soul, but alas such is not the case. He cries on cue as much as Bill O’Reilly screams and for much the same reason; they are both masters of false outrage. Then again, given Bill O’Reilly’s famous temper, his outrage may actually be half true.
Glenn Beck on the other hand, is truly an actor. The insult on my intelligence inherent in attempting to appeal to my emotions is too great, especially coming from a man who does not sincerely feel those emotions. I think when the cameras stop rolling he high fives the cameraman. And forget about how he says it – the man’s words alone can cause the thinking part of your brain to retreat and surrender in awe of such powerful stupid. He’ll make up some random shit that sounds great and makes perfect sense in his own mind and in the minds of other mouth-breathing yokels and future lone gunmen like the asshole who just shot up 13 people in Binghampton, New York. Bill Maher pointed out on his show last week that it was this kind of hysterical fear-mongering talk that egged on paranoid lunatics like Timothy McVeigh.
How bat-shit insane is Glenn Beck? Check out this quote:
“Al Gore’s not going to be rounding up Jews and exterminating them. It is the same tactic, however. The goal is different. The goal is globalization. The goal is global carbon tax. The goal is the United Nations running the world. That is the goal. Back in the 1930s, the goal wasget rid of all of the Jews and have one global government. You got to have an enemy to fight. And when you have an enemy to fight, then you can unite the entire world behind you, and you seize power. That was Hitler’s plan. His enemy: the Jew. Al Gore’s enemy, the U.N.’s enemy: global warming. Then you get the scientists — eugenics.You get the scientists — global warming. Then you have to discreditthe scientists who say, ‘That’s not right.’ And you must silence all dissenting voices. That’s what Hitler did.”
That’s right. He just compared global warming to the Holocaust.
And if he IS in fact sincere, he is a total fucking lunatic, a hysterical monument to crazy. If Glenn Beck truly feels an intense flurry of grieving emotions every time he thinks about 9/11, global warming, or Barack Obama, then he should be on meds – or strapped to a bed and administered electroshock therapy.
Fuck I hate that man. Glenn Beck can chow down on a bowl of ass.
And for no particular reason I give you the photo of the fucking year. God bless Stephen Colbert.