Coffee for the masses.

Fuck Rockstar.

Every morning I’d wake up, head to the corner store, and buy myself a Rockstar energy drink. I believe my boy Eric first put me on to them and I haven’t stopped drinking them since. “Crack in a can”, he called it at the time. It’s convenient (drink out of a can; don’t have to brew it first), tastes better than coffee (never been a coffee person), and it actually does the job of keeping me up for about 5 hours straight. It was an early morning habit that persisted, despite repeated warnings from friends that it’s eating me alive from the insides and that it’s mixture of ascorbic acid and potassium benozate might give me stomach cancer (though a quick Google search reveals that the magic combo that forms benzene in your stomach is actually ascorbic acid and SODIUM benzoate, but whatever). A habit that persisted until I found out who owns Rockstar.

Meet Russel Goldendouche Weiner.

It’s not his ridiculous mop that bothers me. Bad hair and a douchy image does not a boycott make. No, he is the son of Michael Megamondodouche Weiner (AKA, Michael Savage).

If you don’t know who Michael Savage is, this is all you need to know:

He broadcasts out of San Francisco, of all places, spewing the kind of bullshit usually reserved for people like Rush Limbaugh, only worse. Yes, he’s that bad. He and his son founded the Paul Revere Society, a far-right wing anti-immigrant group in the proud, national fascist tradition. Here are a few more choice words about immigrants:

From the March 27 broadcast of Talk Radio Network’s Savage Nation:

SAVAGE: Unless we say “No” to illegal aliens waving the Mexican flag in the street, by burning the Mexican flag in the street across America. That’s right, burn the Mexican flag on your street corner, show what you care about, show that you won’t take it anymore, show that you’re sick of everybody pushing us around like we are a pitiful, helpless giant of a nation that is out of control because we have nothing but corruption and rot at the highest level. Do that, burn a Mexican flag for America, burn a Mexican flag for those who died that you should have a nationality and a sovereignty, go out in the street and show you’re a man, burn 10 Mexican flags if I could recommend it. Put one in the window upside down and tell them to go back where they came from, and if that’s a little to xenophobic for you, ask yourself why the xenophobes from Mexico wave their flag in your country. Ask yourself why the racist xenophobes of La Raza will not speak English in this country; you’ll find out what racism and xenophobia is, my friend.


SAVAGE: If you study the history of human evolution, and I realize this is quite a jump, you will see that throughout history there were various species that arrived on planet Earth prior to homo sapiens, current man, modern man. And as one group came along, it displaced the previous group. We, the people, are being displaced by the people of Mexico. This is an invasion by any other name. Everybody with a brain understands that. Everybody who understands reality understands we are being pushed out of our own country.


SAVAGE: Twenty-nine percent of all inmates in federal prisons are illegal aliens. No, Mr. Bush, they do not all come here to work, they do not all come here to work. They come here to work the system, sell drugs, rape, and kill on contract. Don’t lie to us.

By all accounts, he shares his dad’s vision for America

America’s laziest fascist

Salon, May 20, 2004

Savage’s son, Russ Weiner, kicked off the show. With his spiky, dyed-orange hair and calculated scruffiness, he was reminiscent of Dr. Evil’s son Scott from the Austin Powers movies. The resemblance was confirmed when Weiner proclaimed, “I’m proud to be the son of Savage!” The 30-something Weiner is the founder of RockStar, an energy drink that he developed with his dad, drawing on Savage’s previous career as a Marin County herbalist and ethnobotanist named Michael Weiner. RockStar’s herbal liver-cleansing formula is supposed to enable drinkers to “party like a rock star,” which presumably means drinking and doping. Generous free samples had been passed out to the crowd on the way in. It lived up to its hype: The antifreeze-colored, cough-syrup-flavored beverage can only be enjoyed if you’re taking drugs.

But while Weiner has cashed in on other people’s bad behavior, he made it clear that he’s a family-values kind of guy. “Who’s heterosexual and proud?” he asked, prompting manly cheers. “If you’re not, hopefully you will be soon!” Before handing the stage over to the man he called “our leader,” he advised the audience how to handle his hot-tempered dad: “Let him know you love him!”

I make a lot of jokes and I like to offend people for kicks, but at the end of the day most people know I respect everybody.  These guys, on the other hand, actually believe the shit they preach.  That’s enough reason for me to say


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